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Lifehack

25 ideas to be happy

by Rockstar 19 January 2021

Feeling happy should not be an end goal or destination. Feeling happy should be an everyday way of living. Feeling happy is purely based on your own expectation of being happy. What makes me happy should not necessary make you happy.

Personally, I don’t think we should strive for happiness as final destination in our life. I prefer more to strive for satisfaction and feeling happy on your way to reach this. Our biggest problem in our search for happiness is our own expectations of what happiness should look and feels like. It’s not the end goal that should make you happy but the journey to satisfaction that makes you happy. The good thing with this is that satisfaction is based on your own expectations and expectations can be adapted and changes and set by yourself.

As said happiness is very personal so I won’t guarantee that the next 25 ideas can make you feel happy, hence I call them ideas and not ways to be happy.

1. Be grateful

In my daily routines blog, I wrote about how my daily GTD and 5 min journal is keeping me in control of my day. One very important factor in this daily routine is the part where I write down 3 things that I’m grateful of each and everyday. Just be grateful of what you already have in your life like clean drinking water, a house, a bed, cloths to wear etc. Your will realise that you have so much to be grateful of.

2. Take breaks

Throughout the day you need to take enough breaks. If you are familiar with the productivity technique Pomodoro you know how important it is to take regular breaks in order to keep the right focus. It will clear your mind and gives you more energy for the rest of the day. So don’t underestimate the power of 5 min breaks throughout your day. It’s even better to go for a walk outside during your break.

3. Do one new thing each day

To break the daily routine and to challenge yourself, I advise you to do at least one new thing each day. Watch a YouTube video of a new vlogger, eat a different salad or sandwich during your lunch, order a different coffee or tea, go to a new movie, listen to music your normally don’t listen to. Brush you your teeth with your “other” hand, so if you are left handed do it now with your right hand. Just a small change in your life can make you feel good.

4. Trust yourself

You are good as you are, trust your intuition and don’t overanalyse. Just do it when you think you should do it. You will see that without all the overanalyses and trusting your gut feeling, life will be more fun!

5. Exercise

Go out for a walk, a bike ride, a run, to the gym or walk your dog, play a game of soccer with your friends or kids, you name it. Do it and do it often because exercise is good for your mind and the health of your body.

6. Unclutter

Clean up your house, your garage or your clothing closet. Sell your old stuff that you don’t want or need anymore on eBay or give it away to people who can use it. An uncluttered home will give you a good feeling and giving it away for free will even give you a better feeling. See next idea.

7. Give away something

When you give away stuff for free or even give some support or helping somebody moving houses for example will release the feel-good hormone in your brain called oxytocin (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oxytocin). So give a tip after a nice dinner, give your stuff you don’t need or want anymore to a homeless shelter or a thrift shop. You will feel good and you are helping other people to feel good as well!

8. Give positive feedback and praise

“Feedback is the breakfast for champions” – Kenneth Blanchard. When you notice that a family member, a co-worker or just somebody on the street is doing something you like, give positive feedback and praise this person for his or her good behaviour. It will make their day and will motivate them to do more of this. It will also make your day because while giving positive feedback and praise both of you will get a good shot of Oxytocin in your brain.

9. Meditate

Meditate every day, at least 5 min a day. In our busy lives we always have 5 min to set aside for a mediation session. The best time is in the morning when you just woke up or after your breakfast. It will give you the peace and calm you need during the rest of your day.

10. Stop comparing yourself

One of the biggest pitfalls for a positive lifestyle is to compare yourself with others. You can’t feel how other people are feeling. They might look happy with that new house and brand new car and their whole life they post on Facebook and Instagram but you don’t know their story. This is your life so focus on yourself and yourself only.

11. Always have a friendly mindset

Your mindset should always be friendly. Some people you meet might fight a battle you don’t know of. By being friendly you will see that the reaction of others will be different and, in most cases, they will adapt your kindness and change their behaviour and mindset as well in a more friendly way. Kindness should be the norm.

12. Choose your battles

Of course you need to fight for your rights but my advice is to be selective in your fights. In a lot of cases you will realise that you are fighting too many battles and that will make your exhausted and is a waste of time and energy. It is better to choose your battles and stop fighting for small, unimportant things that are not worth the fight.

13. Lear to say no

Saying yes to often mean that you can’t prioritise. Saying NO means saying Yes to something or someone else more prioritized. Saying No won’t make your popular right now but it will certainly will help you enjoy tomorrow.

14. Just Enjoy

Look around you and learn to enjoy the smallest things in life. The smell of fresh coffee, fresh baked bread, a smile on a kids face, the spring, the silence etc. Take the time and enjoy it with your full attention.

15. Grab somebodies hand

Start your day by grabbing somebodies hand, from your wife, daughter, your son or even better a total stranger. While grabbing their hand tell this person “All things will be fine” and give a big hug. The smile on this persons face is priceless and it will give you both a perfect kick-start of the day.

16. Stop complaining for a day

We all complain and that’s fine unless you do it all day long and talk about all your complains to others each and everyday. Try having a day without any complains, because the truth is that complaining won’t solve anything. Try it for a day and if you like it try to do it at least one day a week – call it “no complain day”. Each time you complain during that day you need to put some money in a jar. Each month with the money in the jar you buy something for somebody else.

17. Focus on your strengths

Each evening when you go to bed, write down all the things that went well that day. Behaviour that you are proud of, deploying a new habit, stopped unwanted behaviour, the conversation you had with a stranger, the support you gave to a co-worker etc. Write it down and at the end of each week read them all again in one go. Celebrate all the good things you do in your life! You are good and you do good things!

18. 15 min worrying

Overthinking and worrying can turn into anxiety. There is a very simple method and easy to try. Take a notebook or a piece of paper, and plan in 15 min a day. Every time when you start worrying or overthinking situations tell yourself to wait until your scheduled 15 minutes. When it is time for your 15 min worrying moment, write down all your thoughts and after 15 min close your notebook and stop overthinking. Remember yourself each time you have these 15 min to write down all your worries. It won’t be easy in the first couple of days but keep trying and you will realise it is magical for your mind!

19. Don’t be so serious

Life is great and a lot of fun. Please don’t take everything so serious, release your inner child. Feel, think and act like a child once in a while. Dance, sing and make a lot of fun in your life. Smiling is the best route to a positive lifestyle.

20. You are great

It will make you feel great when you realise that you are amazing just the way you are today. Don’t change yourself for other people, be yourself because you are great! You are born to be alive so live YOUR life and not somebody else’s life.

21. Take your time

Some say you need to live your life like everyday is your last day. That’s bull shit, because like this you are afraid of dying each day and you are so stressed each day that you need to do all the things you want in one day. Good things will take time hence I advise to take the time you need. That doesn’t mean that you need to overthink all your ideas, make a decision, plan it and execute. We only have 24h in a day and you need to calm down, have breaks and don’t have too much time pressure. As said don’t wait too long with your ideas; decide, plan and do it! But don’t forget to take breaks and that things take time to grow!

22. Focus on what you can influence

We worry too much about things we can’t influence, like the weather, the bad news on television, views from others etc. As written in my blog about the circle of influence. The trick with the circle of influence is that when you focus all your energy on what you can control and influence you will notice that the circle will grow and become bigger. You will find more things that you can actually influence with your positive mindset.

23. Be romantic

It sound a bit controversial but have sex, sex is great. With yourself or even better with somebody you love. Take the time for this, start with a nice dinner, candle light, right music, massage and just let yourself go into the moment and release the happiness hormone in your brain. And don’t forget that sex is very good for your health as well.

24. Show love

Love should be everywhere and is the basic for life, share it with abundance with your family and friends. Tell them, let them feel it, hug them, just do something for them that show your love for them. Giving love feels better than getting it. When you give a lot you will get a lot. Be generous with giving your love and let the ones close to you, your husband, wife, kids, parents, grandparents know on a regular basis, daily!

25. Rocknroll!

The use of mantra’s is very powerful and will keep you focus on a positive mindset. My mantra is Let’s fucking rock n roll (LFRNR). It makes me feel happy each day. When I wake up and step out of bed I say LFRNRN. When I need strengths or confident like an important meeting or when I feel insecure I say it out load. I strongly advise you to define your own mantra that works best for you and that is the closed to you as a person.

I hope that some of these 25 ideas will inspire you to bring more happiness and positivity in your live.

Photo by Fernando Brasil on Unsplash

19 January 2021 0 comment

Lifehack Mindset Positive

Plan potential crisis situations

by Rockstar 18 January 2021

A common situation for persons who suffer from a burn-out is the fact that they are afraid for having a downturn when there are setbacks on their way back to a positive lifestyle. They have a fear falling back into the crisis situations they had before and during their burn-out. I felt exactly the same.

While I strongly believe in having a positive mindset and focusing on the inner side of our circle of influence, I think it is vital to prepare yourself for potential crisis situations that will occur on your way back recovering from a burn-out.

See it more as a back-up tool, a defence line to support you in becoming a much stronger person. It’s a very good tool to overcome all the hurdles you will find on your way. Trust me crisis situations will occur, you will make mistakes, feel anxious and maybe feel depressed because some crisis situations might throw you back at your ‘old state’ before your burn-out. But you are a strong and committed person and will also survive these setbacks. You can do this, but might need some help. That’s ok.

Planning crisis situations really helped me in my burn-out recovery. My mind set, feelings, positive thoughts and how I live my everyday life, it’s hundred times better than when I was burned out. Planning potential crisis situations definitely helped in a positive way of what I have achieved.

How to plan potential crisis situations?

The first thing you should do is writing down all the crisis situations you had prior to your burn-out. All the things you feel stressed or anxious about and played a big role in actually getting your burn-out. When you have written down these situations, the next step is to write down how you reacted to these situations and what your feeling was.

Next to that you need to write down how you ‘wanted’ to react and feel. Then you write down what you need to do in order to react and feel like you want to do. When you have done this a couple of times you start to create a list of potential crisis situations and how to react to these.

See an example below

Situation	Old reaction / feeling	Wanted reaction / feeling	How to get this feeling?
I got a lot of requests from colleagues and my manager at work	I said yes to all requests hence I don’t have time to focus. I didn’t finish my work in time and quality. This made me feeling bad and insecure	I want to say more no, because saying yes to all requests is saying no to what is important. I want to focus and deliver in time with quality	Saying no to ALL requests that are not inline with my objectives. Be very clear to the requester what my objective is to set clear expectations. Be hones that this request is not my priority.

Planning crisis situations can also be used in keeping new habits or stopping old habits like smoking, gambling etc. When you start using this tool during your crisis situations, you will realise how strong you will become and how proud you feel when you overcame crisis situation. It can really support you in our journey for a positive lifestyle, because you feel more confident that you can handle the situation.

In order to really make this work I reckon you add another layer to this and start rewarding yourself every time you managed a crisis situation like you have planned it. Think about small rewards like, taking a warm bath, watching and extra episode on Netflix, listen to your favourite music on Spotify, read a book or just lay in the sun and relax and enjoy that you have done an amazing job. Don’t reward yourself with big things like buying the guitar your always wanted or those shoes, especially when you are a shopping addict. Keep it small so that you can do it every time you succeed.

Planning potential crisis situations looks like cognitive behaviour therapy but it is different, I will write a different post dedicated to cognitive behaviour therapy at a later stage.

As said, you will make mistakes during your great burn-out recovery journey. That is perfectly fine and even mandatory because it is a part of the overall process. Using the planned crisis situations take some time but you will be able to do it. The trick is to be aware that setbacks will happen and that you are well prepared to fight against these crisis situations. It will make you a stronger and positive person.

Photo by Daniel Cheung on Unsplash

18 January 2021 0 comment

Inspiration Lifehack Transformation

Daily routines, GTD and 5-minute journal

by Rockstar 15 January 2021

As mentioned in my introduction I’m a big evangelist of the Getting things done (GTD) methodology from David Allen. 11 years ago, I was so busy at work and at home that I felt lost. I have been working with to-do lists and time management but didn’t got a feeling that I was in control. I searched on the Internet and got interested in GTD and bought the book from David Allen. I first read it in English and later also in my own Dutch languish. Since I work in the digital industry, I don’t want to use an offline tool for this so I searched for an online tool and tried out a couple of tools like Springpad, but in the end I really started to love Evernote and since the last 10 years I’m using Evernote every single day.

I will not going to explain how GTD works, I think there are a lot of other great blogs, articles, books and video’s about how GTD can be helpful to have a stress less and controlled life.

During my burn out I realised that for whatever reason I was too busy to update my daily GTD and I stopped working in a structured way. Later I found out that this was the beginning of my burnout – I’m always in control and I felt it slipping out of my hands. During my “recovery time” at home I started to read again about GTD and decided to make it my daily routine again. I wrote down a new daily routine, a morning, afternoon and evening routine. I promised myself that I would try this for at least 60 days to see how this works. During the same time, I also started to visit a psychologist and she told me that she was impressed about the discipline I had when I told her about this new routine. Her comment gave me more motivation to continue with these routines.

I also started to read about the 5 min journal and how this can give a positive start and end of your day. I decided to create my own version in Evernote and add into my daily routine.

Morning routine

First thing when I wake up is to be thankful and say my mantra or some affirmations
Then I go to the bathroom to drink a glass of water
During showering I count my blessings and be thankful of what I have
During breakfast I write down:
- At least 1 daily fun activity I want to do today
- One activity that inspire me
- 3 things I’m grateful of
- Daily affirmation
- Write down the three (3) most important goals to make my day great
- Define my daily GTD – actions for today
After breakfast I do a 10min mediation
I start the day with “eat the live frog first” so first do the hardest thing on my GTD action list

Afternoon routine

Go out during lunch and walk for at least 20 min and don’t eat behind my laptop
At least 15 – 30 min concentrated readings
Take regular breaks during the day

Evening routines

Reflection of the day
- Write down three amazing things that happened today
- Write down at least one thing how I could have made my day better
Prepare the next day, and already add actions in one of my GTD notebooks in Evernote
Glass of water before going to bed
Read in a book for at least 30 minutes
Visualisation – visualise a positive life and what I want to achieve for at least 7 min

Weekly routines

Do regular drum rudiments – as drummer you need to keep your technique on a good level. I rehears at least once a week with my band
Running – started to run at least 5 km during the weekend and I’m now on 15 km each weekend

In the first couple of weeks, I only did this during working days (Mon-Fri) but moved is slowly to each day of the week, so also Saturdays and Sundays. In order to keep track and keep the discipline I have created a “Daily GTD & 5 min journal” notebook in Evernote and update this everyday. At the end of the day I copy and past this into my Google calendar so I have all the history available when I want to look it up. For me this is like dopamine and it really supports me in a positive, controlled and satisfied lifestyle.

An example of the “Daily GTD & 5 min journal” template looks like this:

Daily fun activity: Watch last episodes of Stranger Things on Netflix

(There are thousand of things that you can do that are fun. Since we are all very busy, always pick at least 1 daily fun activity and make sure you do it. Like watching an episode (or 5 🙂 ) on Netflix, read a book, take a bath, etc. just do something that is fun and makes you happy – get your dopamine.)

I’m grateful for:

That we have clean water at home
That all family members are healthy
That my kids can go to school and learn

(Due to our busy life we sometimes forget how grateful we should be with all the things we take for grated but a lot people don’t even have; savings on our bank account, clean water, a car, a house, electricity, healthcare, a television, a phone etc. Just count all your blessings each day and you will be surprised how many you have.)

Daily affirmation: Today I will feel relax and don’t get stressed when somebody will piss me off

(Just pick one daily affirmation that you will do and keep yourself reminding about it during that day – it should start with “Today I……”. Example are; Today I forgive others, Today I will say no to things I don’t want, Today I start with a healthy life, Today I make it a great day etc. This really helps to start your day with a positive and actionable kick-start)

Most important daily goals to make my day great:

Really call that friend I haven’t spoken for weeks
Start to write a new blog
Bring the kids to bed and talk or read a bedtime story for them

(There are a lot of task want to do during a day, but just pick only three that you really want to do to make your day great, so if you do these three that makes your day feel fulfilled and satisfied)

Daily GTD:

Meditation
Action 1
Action 2
Etc.

(Write down all your actions for today and use a tick box so that you can tick them off when they are ready and done, include your three important daily goals in here as well. Tasks that are not finished you move them to another day based on the GTD methodology)

Three amazing things that happened today:

I called my friend and we spend 1h on the phone and we had a good laugh
I finished a new blog post
My son played a great match today and his team won and all the smiles on their faces are priceless

(Add at least three amazing things that happened today, it could be things from your action list but also spontaneous things that felt great during today)

How could I have made today better: Since I was writing a blog post I didn’t spend the time with my kids bringing them to bed, as I wanted. I need to reprioritise the wring of a blog post.

(At the end of the day always reflect on how you could have made the day better, only one thing and don’t be to harsh on yourself, it should be something you can improve easily. You can always improve things)

I hope this will help you to think about and deploy your own daily routines towards a positive life.

Since a couple of weeks, I’m implementing the Miracle Morning in my live – more about this in a later post

Photo by Estée Janssens on Unsplash

15 January 2021 2 comments

Inspiration Lifehack Transformation

How reminder cards supported me in my burn-out recovery

by Rockstar 14 January 2021

In advertising you have the “the power of repetition”. Very strong brands like Apple, Coca Cola, Lego are still spending million of dollars in advertising to keep the brand on top of our minds.

In todays world we get thousands of stimuli everyday, we have hundreds of things we need to do so our brain needs reminders to have brands or actions on top of our mind.

This is also needed when changing a behaviour or adapting a new routine (or habit). There is a myth that it takes 21 days for a new routine to be a part of your behaviour, but multiple studies showed that it take much longer, around 66 days.

21 days or 66 days, I think the length doesn’t matter, it is the whole route to get adapted to the new behaviour and for me I needed to be reminded of my goals and the behaviour that I wanted to change. Since I already had a busy life before my burn-out I didn’t want to fall into the get-back-to-my-busy-life pitfall and needed to think about a system how to remind myself about the ‘deal’ I made with myself to come back stronger.

I started to write a daily journal about my feelings but realised this wasn’t working and after a week I realised this is not the tool that will support me in adapting a new behaviour that is need to change my life. I went to a store that sell office supplies and found some small cards and immediately I had the idea to create some kind of reminder cards that I could take with me during the day.

I must say this was one of the best ideas I found myself, all other ideas I found online or I have read in books but this idea just came up and it turned out to be very successful for me.

The same day I bought the cards I wrote all things I needed to remind myself about and started to implement these reminder cards on a daily basis. Each day I just picked a couple of cards and started to read them out load and asked myself if I was still on track. If yes, great. If not, change and refocus. Another learning was to reward myself with small things if I have lived by my new routine during the day. Some small reward examples: give myself time to read a book, buy a book or something small. Just to get my dopamine rewarded. This really worked for me.

Below you can find some real examples I added to my reminder cards:

On the first card I wrote was an old manta of mine – Let’s Fucking Rock N Roll
Eat the live frog first, which means start with the hardest and difficult action first thing stimuli in the morning, don’t wait with it until the end of the day
2 minutes power pose – please watch this video from Amy Cuddy – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r7dWsJ-mEyI
How often did I say “No” today?
Did I avoid a conflict today? If yes how will I change this?
Speak up!
I make my own chooses, also how I react on negativity
What are my 3 most important tasks for today?
Don’t wait for a good day; just make it a good day!
Be grateful – count your blessings
Enjoy good memories
Who did I help today and what kind of positivity did I give that person?
Focus – do one thing at a time
Are the things I do now a part of my overall goal?
Indecision is killing, better to take a wrong decision than no decision
Are your goals still clear?
I will make it a good day today!
Are my thoughts calm? If not take a break and just breath
Focus on what is important
Eliminate what is not important
Despite the fact you are a rockstar, it doesn’t mean you can do everything yourself
You can’t change what is not in your circle of influence
Are you following your passion today?
It is okay to make mistakes, as long as you learn from it
Are your boundaries still clear, if not you need to sharpening them
Did I learn something new today?
Did I reward my good behavior today?
You are not a victim, you are a fighter – winner never quit and quitters never win
Right here, right now

So in order to keep going with your new behaviour and support your behavioural change, I would advise you to implement this simple discipline tool with the reminder card. It supported me a lot so I think it is worthwhile trying for you as well.

14 January 2021 2 comments